Hi Success Titan reader, I’m Sal Damiata, and that’s the book summary of “Never Eat Alone” by Keith Ferrazzi.
Why this Book?
Would you like to expand your social network and to create strong and long-lasting relationships to increase your success chances, but you don’t know where to start from? Keep reading, as that’s probably the right book summary for you.
“Never Eat Alone” is a book that is aimed at helping people with weak social connections expand their social circle by adopting some simple strategies and mindset.
Anyway, is it really true that everybody can do this, even if their current social situation is desperate? Let’s discover it together.
Who’s it for?
- People that struggle with creating sustainable personal and business relationships;
- People with an under-developed social and business circle;
- Shy people that would love to learn new networking strategy.
What You’ll Learn from it
- How to relate to people effectively and build long-lasting relationships;
- Strategies to speed up the expansion of your social network;
- Some tips to increase your personal magnetism and social influence.
In a Nutshell
To build a long term successful career, you need the strong foundations of a solid network.
To create such a network, adopt the mindset of the helper when you’re with people and connect with them on a deep level to ensure the connections are strong and genuine.
To increase your chances of success, get a mentor that has already gotten the results you want, and stay around people that hold many connections.
3 Sentence Summary
- Always be the value provider when you’re around people as nobody likes to be exploited or to stay with selfish people.
- What matters is not how much time you spend with people but the quality of the time you spend with them.
- Get to know people that have lots of connections and get a mentor. Finally, decide what your goals are and connect with the people that can help you achieve them.
Those are the most relevant ideas expressed in the book that we’ll explore together.
- Help Others First
- Connect Deeply
- Leverage Super Connectors & Mentors
- Develop your own Brand
- Set your Goals and Act!
Let’s explore them together now:
Big Idea #1: Help Others First
If you want to grow your network, the first thing you should work on is your mindset, and the most important principle to follow when it comes to connecting with people is to be the value provider.
People are not meant to be used as objects to help you achieve your goals, nobody likes to be used and thus to stay with selfish people.
When you put yourself as the helper, whether this means giving emotional support to people, helping them out with their career, or introducing them to others, you’re building trust.
People want somebody that will help them become successful when you help them out first, then you can ask for what you need without any problems.
Always remember to do it authentically and not to expect anything in return when you help people out; this will build trust and mutual understanding.
Moreover, be ready every single day to connect with people and make new contacts and approach your network building more like a marathon runner than a sprinter.
A Relatable Example
Bill Clinton was very social and knew many people, and already at his young age, he used to write down the names of people he met during his day on his index cards.
He did so to record the status of everybody he met during the day because he exactly knew what his goals were and that developing good relationships with people was key to reach them.
Big Idea #2: Connect Deeply
What really makes the difference when creating social relationships is not how much time you spend with people, but the quality time you spend with those people. To develop strong bonds between you and others is essential to share things with each other.
This might be sharing an interest, to exchange ideas, to get to know each other’s experiences or to talk about each other’s future plans and desires.
Do not make small talks with people if you want to connect with them to another level but share something interesting on a friendship level rather than a business one. You’ll be surprised by how many meaningful relationships you’ll manage to establish.
A Relatable Example
One advice Keith Ferrazzi gives to create such moments is by hosting dinner parties with the people you want to build a relationship with. When you eat with people, it’s common to share things that are beyond the surface and to connect to a deeper level.
The author suggests organizing those dinner parties regardless of your budget because, in the end, what’s important is to gather together.
Big Idea #3: Leverage Super Connectors & Mentors
One great tip the author gives is connecting with what he calls “super connectors.” Those are people that have thousands of contacts that generally are into Politics, Lobbying, Public Relations, Journalism, and Club and Restaurant Managers.
If you want to maximize the chances to connect with the right people, get to know them as connecting people is what they regularly do on a daily basis.
Another tip he gives is to have the right mentors around you. It’s not a surprise that the people who got guided by mentors drastically improved their success chances.
People around you will determine how successful you’ll become, so stay with the ones that have already achieved the results you want. Anyway, always remember to find out what you can do for them and then think of how they can help you.
A Relatable Example
When I was producing music back in 2014, I was looking for a way to work in the music industry so that I could maximize my probabilities to get my songs heard. Fate wanted that one day, while I was a good friend of mine’s house, he showed me a guy he knew on facebook that worked in a famous record label as a journalist. I contacted that guy and told him my intentions.
He passed me the email of that record label’s boss and told me to contact him under his name. I contacted the boss and told him about my plans and that I could also work for free in exchange to work alongside him and grow. (he was very powerful and is a V.I.P. in the music industry).
He accepted my proposal, and so I moved to where he lived to get mentored. Spending time with him has been almost a life-changing experience for me as he probably is the smartest person I’ve ever met to date; that’s the power of mentorship.
Big Idea #4: Develop your own Brand
In order to stand out from the crowd, you should understand which type of person you want to be and how you would like to be perceived by others.
You should start developing your own personal branding message, and you can do this by deciding on what clothes to wear, how to pose yourself with people, and the energy you convey when you’re with others.
A Relatable Example
The author advises to ask you the following questions to make it easier for you to develop that unique character of yours.
1: What do I want people to think of when they hear my name, and what would I like to be known for?
2: What am I good and bad at?
3: How am I different from others?
4: What can I do to feel like a worthy individual?
Big Idea #5: Set your Goals and Act!
Finally, to concretely step up your social game, you should set your goals and act upon them. Make them as clear and concrete as possible and develop a plan to reach them.
To maximize the reach of your goal, start with your long term one first, then move to the middle term and finally to the short term goal with a backward strategy.
While you develop your plan to reach your goals, it’s also important that you develop a lifestyle of passion because, with it, it will be much easier to draw people to you.
To do this, the author suggests to find out your blue flame that is basically the point where your passion and abilities meet.
A Relatable Example
To find out what your blue flame is, do the following:
1: Make a list of all your dreams and of all the goals you want to reach;
2: Make a list of all the things you truly enjoy doing.
3: Combine the two lists and see where the two things overlap, your blue flame lies over there.
Conclusion & Takeaway
Your network will greatly determine the degree of success you’ll achieve in your life. You can do things alone and still be successful, but surely you will become even more successful and more quickly with the help of other people.
Start planting your seeds little by little, and, over time, they will grow up to a beautiful social network.
My Advice For You
I probably was the least social person I knew when I was younger. After years of crafting my social skills, the best advice I feel like giving you is to talk to as many people as possible and to challenge your social fears when you’re with them consciously.
This way you’ll achieve total social freedom and, believe me, there are few things in my opinion that feel as good as being able to talk to everybody you want wherever you want and be as comfortable as talking to your best friend while you do it.
About the Author
Keith Ferrazzi is an expert when it comes to business and marketing. He started his career from the bottom but due to his drive and intelligence, he made it to top of the corporate ladder, becoming one of the most requested marketing figures in the U.S.
Today he works in his own consulting firm “Ferrazzi Greenlight” where he teaches the importance of healthy relationships to achieve business success.
- “Who’s got your back?” – Keith Ferrazzi
- “How to Talk to Anyone” – Leil Lowndes
- “How to Win Friends and Influence People” – Dale Carnegie
- “Getting to Yes” – Roger Fisher
- “Give and Take” – Adam Grant
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